The majority of my day is spent reading adoptive parent profiles. I love offering my insight from the birth parent side and getting to know couples through their profiles. I often find common misconceptions, insensitive statements or possessive statements that are an easy fix.
Some of the profiles I read, especially in their “About Me” section, will take the entire section to write about their relationship with their nieces and nephews or their friends' children. I can appreciate the fact that adoptive couples want to communicate they are good with children and children are drawn to them, however, as a birth parent, I want to know about YOU. If you take the max word count to explain where you go and what you do with your nieces and nephews you aren’t telling me who you are.
Often the “About Us” section is flooded with adoptive couples struggle with infertility or their strong desire to adopt, which is important information, but a bulk of couples could write the exact same paragraph. What makes your “About Us” or “Our Story” section stand out are the unique facts of what brought you together. Not a single profile I have read has that same story. Focus on what makes your story different from the masses. I am not saying to leave out the path that brought you to your adoption journey, but use a sentence or two to explain it and allow the space around it to be filled with your love story.
“Our Home” can be a tricky section to navigate. You want to explain where you live and what your home looks like, but you don’t want to share a real estate listing with birth parents. Focus on a narrative. Explain to birth parents where you spend most of your time. What is your favorite spot in your home? What do you do here? I enjoy hearing what is nearby your home. Do you live close to a park, hiking trails, a lake, or a museum? This gives birth parents an idea of what their child will be doing on a regular basis in your home and your surroundings. As a birth mother, I was curious about where my baby would be sleeping. It felt like a silly request, but something about seeing and knowing where she would be sleeping brought me comfort. I asked for a photo of her nursery and crib. Eighteen years later, I love having that photo and being able to share it with her someday fills my heart.
Your “Conclusion” or “Thank You” section is your opportunity to speak directly to a birth parent about what you promise to give their child. This is the space to voice your appreciation, support, and prayers to a birth parent. I often see “We know this is difficult for you…” but truly you can only imagine what a birth parent is going through. You don’t really “know” what they are experiencing. If you want to address the struggle you believe could be happening to be sure to say, “We can only imagine…” In my opinion, I enjoy seeing this section the same size as the other sections. In most profiles, this section is much smaller and I believe adoptive couples are missing a valuable moment to connect with birth parents here. If every section about you, and your life, is 225 words and I get to the closing and it’s 60 words it feels unfinished. This section isn’t about you or your home, it’s about the future relationship you will have with a birth parent who is considering placing their baby with you! Let them know how much it would mean to you, what you promise, and your concern for them.
Birth parents want to read a profile that is relatable and easy to read. Hold their attention by being honest, short and to the point, and sharing valuable information to help them make the best decision possible. These few helpful tips can show a birth parent you are sensitive to their journey.