By Gabe McAteer
In Part 3 of our Adoption Experience Series, we are going to finish our conversation with Ashley, an adoptive parent from Colorado Christian Services. The last two posts have discussed the home study process, adoption profile creation and placement. In this post we'll talk with Ashley about her post-adoption experience and her advice for parents waiting to adopt.
So after you placed, you and the birth mom, Rachel, decided to have an open, post-adoption relationship. Can you tell us a bit about that?
Other than the usual phone calls, text messages, emails, and occasional meetings, I created a wordpress blog specifically for the open, post-adoption relationship. The blog is where I post photos and updates of our son, Holden. Rachel and her mother are the only people who can log on and see the updates. It works incredibly well and I totally recommend it to other adoptive families. It’s a great way to connect and stay in touch.
Okay, the million dollar question - what advice do you have for other families considering adopting a baby?
Let’s see, where do I begin. I would say that communication is paramount between you and your partner. No topic or time of day to talk is off limits. Communicate your feelings and concerns constantly with your partner so that both of you are on the same page. The two of you are doing this together, it’s important to understand one another and leave no stone unturned. It’s also important to be clear and honest in your adoption profile. Be who you are, not who you think they want you to be.
I love that, the adoption process is truly a journey and you have to do it together, as a couple.
Yup! Okay, and my second piece of advice would be to prepare an answer to the question, “How is the adoption process going?” You will get that from everybody and their mother, so I would recommend a brief elevator pitch as a response.
Finally, for all those waiting adoptive families - odds are you will be waiting for over a year before you get the placement call, so do as much as you can during the wait. Travel, sleep in, have long breakfasts, watch movies, or take up a hobby. Enjoy your life, this is no time to sit around waiting and wondering when you’ll get the call, you will drive yourself insane if you follow that method.
Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us, this was really helpful and I believe your experience will help many families in the future.
No problem, thanks for having me!
This concludes our Adoption Experience Series! We look forward to more conversations and stories from Adoptive parents, and will soon be working on our series about Birth Mothers.